Pop

I miss you.
Today, my birthday, I am missing you keenly.
I didn't think it would be that way.
On my birthday, I was your center.
Now you are gone and I am a satellite around others, a center for no one.
I miss that precious feeling of being the center
I grieve knowing I will never have that feeling again.
I miss being someone's child.
I miss you.

10:30

So, it was 10:30. That's the time I rolled out of bed. I woke up once before, smiled gleefully, rearranged blankets and went back to sleep. Woke up, went to Panera where I got the last egg breakfast sandwich, my caramel latte and read (and finished) a book in 2 hours. Off to Trader Joe's. I actually did touch the to do list. All of the summer clothes are packed away. I have to sort thru the clean stuff and see what else needs to go. I can see my bedroom floor again. I then read (and finished) another book. Greg phoned briefly (battery running low) and said Ryan was having a blast--something about a BB gun and that Charlotte was being a good sport. It's an absolutely beautiful weekend to be camping.
Greg bought a camp stove and we have quickly realized our backpacking equiment is insufficient for family camping. We will be visiting the Campmor site soon. General Surplus going out of business hasn't helped and Dick's is somewhat lacking in the camping dept.
I wouldn't mind seeing Birch especially with it being so nice out, but being home has been beneficial:)

I'm Home Alone?

Yes, indeed. It's dark outside and Greg and the little ones are at Camp Birch for the Weekend Family Fun Campout with scouts. I work Sat and Sun so no go for me. I worked last night and was up for a P/T conference at the Antioch School. Greg was running thru his lists for stuff to pack, but rememebred to ask what I would do with my night home alone. Me? Home alone? I hadn't really considered it. Hmmm. what to do. Thai, Indian? I opted for a steak dinner (Longhorn) and looking for shoes. I really wanted a good steak--Texas Roadhouse opens Oct 13. I could go alone or take a buddy. All my buddies have kids, and plans...Megan, however, was eager for a night out too. So after an excellent and overly filling dinner --no room for fried cheesecake (darn!) we went looking for shoes. No luck for me. Most retailers haven't picked up the whole size 12 issue yet, but it was fun to look.
Ryan was really jazzed about spending all day and 2 nights. I can't wait to hear the stories.
So the to do list has a few things on it. I do have a stack of library books I can read (a smidgen of homework) and Greg rented Ironman. I'll see how I feel in the morning. Will it be a pitter around day or a I will move a small mountian day? Dunno. Greg was happy i would have time to myself, I'm glad he appreciates how I need it and doesn't begrudge me the time. I wonder what time I'll wake up tomorrow? :)

Stress

Today I had that feeling...the "I am going to cry from stress" or "start shrieking" from stress moments. It lasted most of the day. Thursday I was up at 8, ferried children, no nap and went to work. Home at 0730 Fri morning with no sleep (up for 23.5 hours). Slept until 145p, picked up kids, and worked Fri night (slept 6 h 15m). I was in charge, it was a very busy, stressful (read, nearly awful) night, with much too much going on and not enough staff. Slept all Sat morning and part of afternoon. Went to bed at 2am after homework. I finally emailed my prof Friday and requested an extension for my 6 page paper due today. I simply wasn't going to be able to do it. I hated having to ask and stressed about her response. Today I just wanted to drink my coffee, be a slug and read for awhile. The kids wanted to play with mom, climb on mom, talk to mom--and I felt myself starting to unravel. I just wanted to be left alone--for a little while. Greg didn't get it, thought I was being moody and selfish. I wanted to scream, I actually felt panicked. And greg didn't understand at all. I figure I am up 24 hours straight once a week. That can't be good. I am still trying to calm down. I am home for the next 2 days and part of Wednesday. I'll have a little time to myself. It will pass, but God what an awful feeling.

The Swing

The Swing

It's your favorite thing
You tell me your secrets and dreams
And big events of the day
As I push you
On the Swing

WE HAVE POWER WE HAVE POWER

Between 145 and 4445 this afternoon, the power came back on. I nearly cried--really. Today is Day 6 without power. I left to pick up children and came home to a working post light. Every light in the house has been turned on. The washer is going. OMG what a relief. Ryan wrote a note to his teacher about the power coming back on. It's adorable--I'm framing it.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU AJ, Megan and Mrs. Dungan for a hot meal. Thank you Megan and Charlotte for letting us use your (hot) shower and home theater. The harderst thing really was accepting help from others--weird, I know--we are so used to giving, taking was harder than I imagined.

I'm sure at some point I will post more about the difficulties and delights (yes, there were a few). But for now, I am just happy.

Hugs,
Sara

Soccer practice

Today was Charlotte's first practice. Yes, she looked adorable in her shin guards and pink and black cleats. She is on a 3-5 age team and they are a hoot. The shine of practice wore off about 20 minutes into it. It was also about 90 degrees out. I held her hand and ran with her during most of the drills. Ryan wanted to be Coach James' assistant. Coach James was quite cool about this. Ryan was on his team before and moved up since he turned 6. So as the days get cooler, we'll see how it goes.

Two good things happened today, Austin came by to get Ryan and they went to the bus stop together--totally great for Ryan. I was also able to pick him up after school. We were home at 3:20. With the kindergartners being bussed form a different school and all of those logistics, Ryan had been getting home near 4. He much preferred riding home in an air conditioned car with snacks ans I liked not having to wait so long to see him.

Ryan is bringing home math homework and his completed writing assignements. I am keeping all of his work in a expandable file so I can watch his progress through the year. His handwriting makes my hand hurt. It's very tall and wide right now. But he has the hang of his words. We have to practice spelling them and writing them, but he is game for that. I'll be running copies for his teacher tomorrow and one of us will eat lunch with him next week. The complaints with the whistle continues. His teacher let me now there are 250 students at a time in the cafeteria-ACK! It might get a bit loud.

Charlotte is in the nursery and a different kid from the one I see at home. More tempestuous, dramatic and a bundle of energy. Ann seems to think some of that will wear off as she settles. I hope so, the kid at school would get on my last nerve at home. Bless the teachers for their patience and understanding of small children!