Today is one of those beautiful days! A hammock day! And I'm typing a blog. Walked Charlie to the park and back and am mentally revving up for the girl scout meeting tonight (I touch on camping) and the cub scouts--we are doing art. I am bring a cobbler to make in the dutch oven over the open fire at girl scouts:) Our first camporee is coming up Mother's day weekend--I wonder how many have been camping before and I wonder how I will manage my first girl scout trip as an adult--and in a lodge no less:( I'll touch on those thoughts another time.
I felt I should share a dramatic shift in thinking that has taken hold in the last weeks. Whether it's the economy, the results of an abysmal job search and humiliating HR experience, more friendships and ties here or a combination of all of the above--I have come to a place where I am ready to make a life...here. Not Cincinnati. Not Centerville or Kettering, or Yellow Springs. Here. This last year has been very hard. I didn't expect finding another job to be so frustrating and difficult. It makes me thankful that I have a job now to pay the bills! The kids are in soccer and scouts are making more ties in school. The realization came that even if I was GIVEN a job in Cinci tomorrow--I couldn't take it. We can't move, I am unwilling to commute 2 hours a day. Our house and day to day running of events is crazy. One of us needs to be home more. We have put everything on hold with the hope that we could leave. And I am tired of putting everything on hold. We need to find a church to go to. I want to build a playhouse for the kids. The house isn't bad and we will be in a place fairly soon to make it better. We'll be in a place where i can work part-time and keep up with our living space! Greg agrees (though still wants out of the house). But he agrees. And I have found a measure of peace. A couple of my work friends say I am giving up. Maybe. But working part time and having more time to do life sounds really appealing. Hopefully Murphy's law will STAY AWAY and I will not be offered a great job full-time. I have made peace with a different path. All it took was time and some harsh realities. I still have my degree, no one can take that away. The allure of a better job remains. But not here. At some point we may go. I hope then it won't be such a fight or seem so insurmountable.
