Trounced

Today was Ryan's first tournament as a select soccer player! I got to experience it as a parent this time instead of a player. I think I prefer the player experience. They were trounced. Trounced soundly once and then trounced even worse the second game. Second game was 12-0. There are many reasons why this happened and it was an interesting experience for me as a parent. Keeping quiet when frustrated was a test today so I decided to stop being frustrated. They have a coach and screaming parents don't help anyway. Not strangling the other teams parents was harder. Comments like "I'm starting to feel sorry for them" particularly grated. But our boys didn't run as much as they should have. It wasn't a case if they tried their best and failed. A few just didn't have their heads in the game-my boy included. They can and have been much more tenacious with the ball. The other coach finally his boys to stop shooting the ball. Our boys coach did a good job though.The boys weren't particularly downtrodden. They have a long way to go. For several this is their first select experience. In a few months they will be better and next season better still. Now, I get to learn how to be supportive while also communicating the need for him to try. He knows what it feels like to lose. I think every kid needs that. I can't convince him to try if he wants to win. He has to figure that out on his own.

Cats

So yes, there is a story as to why we have 2 cats. My super softie heart and Greg's ultimate love for me:)  Found the orange cat on the way home from work one night (1 am)--he was wandering down a usually busy road and didn't flinch as the van came near. He was so skinny and then he came right to me. I couldn't leave him so brought him home. Argument ensued as to the proper placement of the cat--which at that point was not the house. He went back out on the stoop and back into the world where I was sure he would be roadkill or caught by some torturous fiends. I seriously had nightmares about it. He ended up wandering up to the kids a few days later as I was cleaning windows. After several hours, Greg relented. I went looking for him and apparently whispering "here kitty kitty" can get you more than you bargained for. I was overjoyed at the sound of mewing but was struck dumb when I turned a saw a wee kitten instead of my skinny tom. Didn't plan on keeping both, but they have turned out to have lovely dispositions. Vet visit conformed the orange tom was sick--he was sneezing and hacking blood. He is now on antibiotics for an upper respiratory infection. The kitten is in perfect shape and asserted his personality early--he is called Rascal. The other fellow is really mellow. He spent his first two days here by the toilet curled up and sleeping--vet said he was 2 pounds underweight and about 7 months old. So I think he was just exhausted. He still sleeps alot, but comes out more to be petted and is truly content when he is laying on me. He is called Westley after the Princess Bride--though I would really love Dread Pirate Roberts--that may be a bit of a mouthful. So I am now in the midst of controlling the waste and stench the comes with two intact male cats. The litterboxes are an ongoing battle--and I think the orange tom is marking in one corner. They are set up to be neutered in September.

So how is Charlie with all of this? He is doing well altogether. He likes to paw the kitten and Westley hisses at him when he gets too annoyed. So we don't leave them all unattended. I love having warm beasties to pet.

Pictured are the boys in the beds Charlotte made. The kids are delighted. Hearing the glee was they laugh at the kitten lightens my heart.

Sunday at the bookstore

 Here's Ryan reading a Star Wars encyclopedia. Yes, another one. He and I came so I could return my Nookcolor, an extravagance I don't need but it sure was nice on vacation:) Put it in the bin of things to get in a few more months. Yesterday was a biggish day. Greg was off to a Court of Honor for a scout troop he works with. He had asked if he could go and then I was offered a chance to pick up a shift at the hospital. I said no to the shift and Greg went. He had a lovely time and in addition to speniding time with some really nice people, made a connection for blackberry wine that another adult leader is making. Yay for us!

I mentioned before that it has been a lean couple of months and we aren't done just yet. More hours are coming just as the kids are starting school. So I am not super worried. We are hopeful for a job change for Greg that in addition to increasing his job satisfaction, will also bring a raise. Just a few more months to hang on! So as I battle the bank account I have to remember what the trade off is. My being home meant Greg could go to his event. It meant we were able to take a walk today. We can eat meals together today. It meant that I realized how much Ryan was marking his days with the DS, the Wii and watching clone wars! So the breaking point...

We settled down for family movie night and no one could agree. Plus the kids had watched a movie the night before with a sitter. So I cancelled it and told them electronics were done for the foreseeable future. So no DS this morning. When he woke up though he inhaled his breakfast in preparation for it. Then he was reminded. In the past he had to eat before he played so he would gobble whatever was easy to meet the requirement. He also stopped sticking to the 30 minute limit. And yes, my fault too, that sometimes it was just easier to let him play. Grumping was minimal. But I wonder if he is laying in wait:) I have a sitter coming this week as I have to put in a few hours. She has already been told no movies wii or DS. This may be a challenge for her too!

Today I am already noticing a change. He ran with Charlie on his walk, something he usually doesn't do. Usually I am dealing with the post "turn off your game" grumpiness. I don't know if all kids are this way, but he really has a hard time walking away from movies, tv and video games--I have been told I was much the same as a kid.  What started out as a treat turned into a routine. They will likely be DS free next summer--as they were last summer.

So we went to the bookstore. I got a small coffee, he a hot chocolate. A treat I am willing to indulge. He was told I wasn't buying anything--though he asked twice anyway. So we left and came home and had some lunch. The time is now--resetting boundaries. And instead of fighting me every step, they are adapting. As I consider the next steps, I have to remind myself of what the tradeoffs are.  How being home more is actually what will make me happiest. It's amazing how hard that seems right now. I will continue with full time hours at least until January--if the kids are okay, will go thru June and then cut back. These last few months may be the hardest--as we are so close to accomplishing such an enormous goal!

Back from Cali

The difficulty of staying in one hotel room with kids is that the lights go out pretty much when they are in bed. I can't read, nevermind type in a bed. I am programmed to fall asleep there, period. So no blogging while away. It was a fast trip to Cali and I know Greg's grandmother enjoyed every minute of her 5 day long birthday celebration. We went to Cali sans Disney and Knotts this time and actually didn't have time to go to the beach. In addition to visiting with family, we were able to carve out part of a day to visit old friend about 40 minutes away. The jet lag hit all of us harder this time. We slept til 11 the first day home, the kids until almost 10 today. We will slowly roll it back but it is a struggle to keep the days easy when we can go to swim lessons at 10-we just have to get out of bed! I have bought the dreaded school supplies and after a trip to the CMC ER--yes another one, made it back to Kroger to finish grocery shopping. Ryan was complaining of sharp chest pain--he had a similar episode this spring. It faded to a dull roar but I didnt want to chance it. CMC cleared him of cardiac issues--they feel it is likely muskuloskeletal or GERD--since it is short lived and seems to resolve on its own. I just keep having images of basketball players collapsing on the court in high school. At this moment, he is sitting close to me totally engrossed in Harry Potter book 3. Watching his face is a little fun. You can read every emotion as it crosses his face. He worries and smiles and is showing almost as much dedication to this series as all of the Star Wars stuff. Charlotte is reading the Mercy Watson series and I love listening to her read aloud. She started gymnastics last week. She'll go an hour a week and the first class was stellar. They had them walk on the low and high beam, swing on a rope, learn the first steps of the cartwheel, and jump on a vault--all with close supervision:) I hope the class continues to be as great. Charlotte has bloomed more in the last couple of months, showing a creativity and bravery with her body that she previously didn't. She embraces her "homework", planting her hands on the floor and walking up the wall backwards!

I have done about 6 loads of laundry--they wait to be folded. We are slowly getting ready for the fall. I a glad that I stayed part time at the hospital. It has been a lean couple of months, but it will pay off this fall as I will be available for more stuff while picking up hours here and there while the kids are in school.  I have asked the kids what they want to do for Halloween--it is time to start looking forward a bit in earnest. I must peruse girl scout training and get Ryan's soccer schedule. Piano will start up at some point. Luckily, they love scouts and piano and the sports they have chosen, so the running around is at least rewarding. Greg is interviewing, so prospects for him are looming a little brighter. I have learned in the past 2 years that one of the greatest driving forces on this earth is hope. Hope and perseverance. This may all actually start to come together!

New Cast

Ryan went for his 3 week check up and an xray confirmed bone healing and that he could progress to a short cast. I was so thankful he and Greg got out of camp with enough time for a shower. I had horrid dreams about walking in to the waiting room with this boy that hadn't showered in 4 days. Plus I had been told that the smell when the cast comes off can burn your nostrils. So yay for showers! And yes, he was a little dirty--his feet were the worst!

On our last visit, when they mentioned gore-tex as part of his cast, I was envisioning a kind of rubbery stuff--it turned out to look like white paper with square bubbles in it, It was then wrapped in fiberglass (the lime green this time). So he can swim in the pool, ocean, lake whatever. He just has to rinse it inside and out with tap water when he's done. They cut the old one off with a electric saw--it was hard to watch, probably harder to tolerate--visions of screaming and blood spurting abounded (at least by me). 1 more week of no soccer (he's still healing!). 3 weeks in this cast and then he's done. His arm looked pale and a little thinner--yes, you can tell even on him, There is still a pronounced bump--but I was assured this was normal on skinny kids--just easier to see. His elbow was a bit stiff--also normal. Tomorrow we jaunt to LA and no we aren't packed!

Single parent. Single child. At least for the next 4 days. I am finding I have less time to do things by myself. She has no one to distract he but me! So of course I am thinking of all the times I wanted t spend time with her. And I am thinking about the laundry and hanging curtains. Today dishes and laundry will be done. But that's it. Today we will read and play. Early today: "mommy? Can I sit on your lap and put my cheek next to yours?"

Facebook Friends

I enjoy Facebook. It has allowed me to connect with friends I don't get to see often and allows me to catch up on acquaintances from long ago. Nostalgia can be sweet. And I have to admit I like the validation I receive from my posts and adoration from pictures of my kids. I don't like that my friends kids are on it and am questioning the friends' sanity for letting them on at all. As far as kids go, Facebook to me is one more internet danger-zone for kids. Ryan and Charlotte do not have accounts. They aren't getting accounts. A handful of their friends already do and Ryan at least has expressed his frustration at being held back. I have had to explain more than once, that the internet is just one big group of people. Some he knows, some he doesn't. Some are nice and some really aren't. And on the internet, Mommy and Daddy aren't standing next to him to protect him from strangers. And I do NOT want to have to contend with cyber bullying anytime soon.  Ryan wants a computer in his room. He has an ipod. And for now, that's all he's getting. He checks his email with me nearby and plays on very few approved websites. He's not ready to be turned loose on the net. And for now, I can control that.